I drafted this blog post at the beginning of the year, I did not post it because I was not sure if I could. Grab a chocolate bar cuz this might take a while.
This is me apologizing for my failure as an artist. I failed everyone who started this journey with me. I guess I failed, I failed even before the test started. In my head I failed. As a woman who tries to be right in every conversation, I swallow my pride and step back to admit my wrongs.
I will address this! This is how I failed.
The past few weeks have been rough! Forget the pretty instagram photos. It has been rough! Emotionally, socially, physically, mentally, spiritually and every other “lly” you can think of.
I basically battled in these areas of my life and i will open up and share some important parts with you.
Since I moved to London, I have been undergoing culture shock. It is the longest shock I have ever had….still have it. This has in a way limited my creativity and movement. I have been pretty much afraid to make new friends, eat new food, breathe fresh air…basically live. I have been afraid to step out and be better.
I have procrastinated a lot because of this fear of creating, moving and exploring. I let myself think about all the things I cannot do that I just dont do anything. I cannot over emphasize how lazy this made me.
Well, late nights have always been a problem since the creation of smartphones. We dont know how much this affects us but I know it is really bad and I still have not dealt with it. I try but hmmph!
The main thing is fear! It is kind of a lot more than i have mentioned but Im sure you get the gist and you can relate. You are wondering where I am going with this since its just three problems I have highlighted. Well, I learnt some things this year and yeah……
Fear is the demon for every creative. It is only normal for you to think your work is not good enough but once in a while, lay back and smack your own ass and tell yourself you are a genius. Lol! no need to smack your ass.
We beat ourselves too much and forget to give ourselves credit for the good ideas we come up with or for even making amala without koko. A creative already battles with trying to be different and finding their signature style. You see, there is so much out there on the internet, it becomes too overwhelming and you begin to doubt yourself.
One thing you should remember is that you are so damn good enough! Once you have a creative block, sit back, re-plan, re-strategize. In fact, forget about the work entirely and then come back to it.
Accept your loss, you cant always win.
Dont be tamed or broken, be the great ape, break loose, cut through the cage, bite the bars….just dont be tamed
Be impatient, dont relax. Put on your own shows, start your own business, curate your own destiny.
We all have days when we are down, just dont stay down. Encourage yourself.
Be sure to leave a comment below and let me know your thoughts on how you overcome your creative depressions.
Illustrations are by Garance Dore.